Happy Wednesday! I hope you like the new look of the blog. My computer skills are not up to par with my parenting skills. The consequence of this fact is it takes me a lot longer to do the simplest of things. Regardless, I like the way it turned out. Also, please take a second to answer the education poll about grading. It will be discussed in a future education blog.
The term consequences seems to me to have a bad rap when it comes to kids. They usually come when the kid has messed up one time too many for the parent to handle. Some parents may think of grounding a child or giving a time out as a good consequence. While this may be true, what I would like for you to think about is a broader definition for the word. How can consequences be more effectively used to your advantage?
Sometimes, consequences don't come directly from us at all. For example, a couple of days ago, my three year old Luke decided to run on the couch. Before I turned around to correct him, he fell and bumped his head. That's a natural consequence. I would argue they are the most effective kind.
Consequences do not have to be negative; nor should they presented in that way. They are merely the results of actions. They can be positive or negative. When Cameron does a good job on his "daddy" school work; he gets to tell me the positive comment to write on the top of his paper. One of his favorites is "Great job, Cameron." He usually has to remind me that he wants the exclamation mark at the end of the comment to read, "Great Job, Cameron!" The exclamation mark is very important to him. That is a positive consequence.
Last night, my wife Lauren reminded me of a house parent I worked at St. Joseph Children's Home named Judy. If Judy could start a game show for kids, it may be called "Choose Your Consequence." She seldom gave children a consequence immediately. When a child was misbehaving, she may tell the child that if they continued, they may go to their room. If they discontinued the negative behavior, they could stay with the group. Judy would tend to leave the power in the hands of the child and it was effective many times. The child was given time to think what they were doing, understand the consequence, and react accordingly.
I went downstairs last night to let Lauren and Cameron finish their nightly routine before I placed Cameron to bed. No sooner than I hit the bottom stair, I heard Cameron start complaining. He wanted to do a "trick" on the stairs and Lauren said, "no." Of course, Cameron tested by walking toward the stairs.
Lauren handled the situation similar to how Judy would have handled it. She said, "if you go down the stairs, I will not read to you and you will go straight to bed." Incidentally, this was said in a calm tone. Cameron begrudgingly went to his room. There have been many times in the past where he could not resist and perform the undesired action. Of course, Lauren would carry through with the consequence. Cameron would get mad and, sooner or later, I would get involved.
Last night was different. I was proud of my wife for how she handled the situation and proud of Cameron for thinking things through. After they shut Cameron's door to read, I'm sure they had a nice time together. Cameron received a positive consequence for following directions.
This Friday's blog was inspired by one of my readers. The question focused on how two parents should raise children when their parenting styles are completely different. This happened many times at St. Joseph Children's Home and I'll tell you how it was handled, what I learned, and what pitfalls to avoid.
All the best to you and your families! Please continue passing this blog along to others who would enjoy it. Now there is an option on the right hand side of the screen to share the blog on Facebook or Tweeting it. The "About Me" section has been tweaked as well.
Considering the blog is only a month old, I couldn't be more pleased with how the word has spread.
Thanks again!!!
Chrstmas Spirit
My wife and kids having a little holiday fun
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Tantrums, Troubles, and Treasures (High School Hangovers Part 2)
If you caught Friday's blog, you read about our failing high schools in Jefferson County. The same situation is happening at schools across the country. I wanted to shed some light on how this happens and some possible solutions.
By the time a child reaches high school, they have had about 9 years of schooling (including kindergarten). But each kid does not have the same experiences going through school. For some, they had excellent teachers and home support. They may have had some tough moments. But usually they made it through without too much trouble. But other kids had a completely different experience. They may have come into kindergarten behind, had poor teachers, and lacked the support at home.
Perhaps the easiest way I can explain this is to picture a 100 yard dash. The starting line represents the start of a grade. The finish line would represent the end of the grade. All teachers have approximately 9 months to get the kids from start to finish. The "race" would restart at the beginning of every school year.
The problem is no matter what grade we are talking about; many children never begin on the starting line. Some kids start ahead of the line because they had a good support system. Other kids may have to start 10 yards behind the line. Consequently, they have to run 110 yards to finish the race for that school year. Depending on how many kids are in this situation, the teacher has a tough job. How do you catch kids up while not ignoring the kids who are ahead?
When I was a teacher I was encouraged to match the kids who were ahead of the pack with those who were behind. The problem with this scenario was how to challenge the kids who are ahead. I never met the parent who was comfortable sending their child to school to be a glorified assistant teacher.
Year in and year out, the same scenario happens and that is why kids are left behind. Eventually, embarrassing high school scores come out just like last week. I would be much more critical of high schools if I knew all students were at the same "starting line" when entering. The truth is by the time seniors take these tests, they very well can be on a sophomore/junior level.
It has been my experience that the quicker kids catch up, the more likely they will be to do well in later years. Superintendent Sheldon Berman has started academies to assist high school freshman at certain schools in catching up. While I agree, in principal, tho these academies, I'd like to see a more concerted effort in elementary schools.
One thing we did when I taught at Bates Elementary was track each child's progress. Our principal would be highly involved in seeing where a kid was falling behind and charting a course on how to catch the child up. The only negative to this was we'd still have to move a kid to the next grade even if we weren't able to accomplish our goals. I'd like all elementary schools to have the option of holding children back one time (preferably kindergarten or first grade) to see if they can catch up.
Before I go, I'd like to thank you again for taking the time to read my blog and passing it along to other parents. What I'd like to do is transition free for all Friday's to a day for you- my readers. Please send me parenting questions/topics you would like addressed. They can be real or hypothetical. I do not use real names or identifying information. You can send these questions in the comments box or through Facebook.
Please catch Wednesday's behavior blog. The topic will be consequences.
Take care and have a super day!
By the time a child reaches high school, they have had about 9 years of schooling (including kindergarten). But each kid does not have the same experiences going through school. For some, they had excellent teachers and home support. They may have had some tough moments. But usually they made it through without too much trouble. But other kids had a completely different experience. They may have come into kindergarten behind, had poor teachers, and lacked the support at home.
Perhaps the easiest way I can explain this is to picture a 100 yard dash. The starting line represents the start of a grade. The finish line would represent the end of the grade. All teachers have approximately 9 months to get the kids from start to finish. The "race" would restart at the beginning of every school year.
The problem is no matter what grade we are talking about; many children never begin on the starting line. Some kids start ahead of the line because they had a good support system. Other kids may have to start 10 yards behind the line. Consequently, they have to run 110 yards to finish the race for that school year. Depending on how many kids are in this situation, the teacher has a tough job. How do you catch kids up while not ignoring the kids who are ahead?
When I was a teacher I was encouraged to match the kids who were ahead of the pack with those who were behind. The problem with this scenario was how to challenge the kids who are ahead. I never met the parent who was comfortable sending their child to school to be a glorified assistant teacher.
Year in and year out, the same scenario happens and that is why kids are left behind. Eventually, embarrassing high school scores come out just like last week. I would be much more critical of high schools if I knew all students were at the same "starting line" when entering. The truth is by the time seniors take these tests, they very well can be on a sophomore/junior level.
It has been my experience that the quicker kids catch up, the more likely they will be to do well in later years. Superintendent Sheldon Berman has started academies to assist high school freshman at certain schools in catching up. While I agree, in principal, tho these academies, I'd like to see a more concerted effort in elementary schools.
One thing we did when I taught at Bates Elementary was track each child's progress. Our principal would be highly involved in seeing where a kid was falling behind and charting a course on how to catch the child up. The only negative to this was we'd still have to move a kid to the next grade even if we weren't able to accomplish our goals. I'd like all elementary schools to have the option of holding children back one time (preferably kindergarten or first grade) to see if they can catch up.
Before I go, I'd like to thank you again for taking the time to read my blog and passing it along to other parents. What I'd like to do is transition free for all Friday's to a day for you- my readers. Please send me parenting questions/topics you would like addressed. They can be real or hypothetical. I do not use real names or identifying information. You can send these questions in the comments box or through Facebook.
Please catch Wednesday's behavior blog. The topic will be consequences.
Take care and have a super day!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Tantrums, Troubles, and Treasures (High School Hangovers)
Hello to all! This week has given us some somber news about some high schools in our district. For my out of town readers, the following is why it so important to keep your finger on the pulse where your child goes to school. The following horror story is real and it is widespread. Many of our kids have had bad teachers we've had to deal with but the blog today is going to focus on thousands of high school kids. I may sound like a broken record but the more a parent involves themselves in their child's education, the better off the child will be.
The news is 6 of the bottom 10 high schools in Kentucky are located in Jefferson County (where I reside). To make this a bit more personable, we are talking about approximately 6,500 students that go to these schools. Last year was the exact same story. This is a 2 year total of approximately 13,000 students. On average, only about 1/3 of the students scored proficient in reading and math. This is nothing short of an embarrassment. Because the bottom 6 of the 10 performing schools were scored as such last year, they were ineligible to make this year's list. Money is rolling in but I haven't found the data to see how it's being spent or if improvements have been made.
The test was based on reading and math which are the centerpieces of education. According to Superintendent Sheldon Berman, "Each of these schools is making significant gains in other important areas, but the state is only looking at one measurement when determining this particular list." My question is what the heck is more important than reading and math? Cultural diversity? Culinary Arts? Music? There was even a protest/pity part at Fern Creek high school Wednesday night which was attended by teachers, Dr. Berman, and the Jefferson County Public Schools teacher's union. High Schools and the district are having their feet held to the fire and of course- it burns! They complained at Fern Creek about the test and how they want more local control. Berman also complained how the test is overly simplistic. (Give me a minute while I shake my head)
In my opinion, there is a hierarchy of skills that need to be taught. Reading and math are at the top of the list. If a child can not read and perform math problems on a proficient level- little else matters. Am I too simplistic? Put another way, if a child could only read and work math problems on grade level, that would still be much better than what we are seeing.
Berman was on Mandy Connell's radio program this morning and said, "proficiency is well above grade level." He could be right though I never had that impression while I was teaching. In my classrooms though, I didn't think the goal of proficiency was out of reach because of its high standard. With every class, I tried to assess the ability level of the students; then bust my behind to have them achieve as much as they could during the 9 months they were in my classroom. There were times when students hit proficiency and others who fell woefully short. No matter where they landed on the spectrum, they were automatically moved up a grade. This was a district policy.
In the real world when companies/employees under perform, there are severe prices to pay. Companies can go under and employees can lose their jobs. In the educational world, things are different. We are not used to being directly accountable. For example, if one of my students didn't achieve a certain standard, I was never called out on it to explain why. This is why we are seeing a backlash from some educators and why we may be seeing more over time.
In education, it's very easy to "pass the buck" somewhere else. It happened during my teaching days and it is no different now. I could blame lots of people if my class under performed. For example, I could blame the administration for giving me the lowest kids- I could blame the parents- or I could blame the kids for being lazy. Having to take direct responsibility for failure is not something teachers/schools are used to. I want to make clear that when a kid is failing to live up to standards in high school, the blame has to be passed all the way down the line. One of my arguments on Monday's blog will be how you can't totally blame the high schools for under performing kids; but you have to start somewhere.
In my opinion, there are only two acceptable public high schools in Louisville- Male and Manuel. About 82% of Manuel graduates are ready for college. About 64% at Male High School are prepared. Evey other school in the area is under 50%. The lowest schools hovered around 4%. I am measuring this by ACT's and how prepared these kids are when going to college. I found some interesting numbers comparing districts in Kentucky.
According to schooldigger.com, the Jefferson County school district is ranked 132nd out of 149 counties. Here's the interesting twist. According to the Pritchard Committee, KY ranks 32nd on it's education index out of 50 states. This is a marked improvement from 1992 where Kentucky ranked 43rd. Only one other state rose out of the bottom 10 during the same time period which was North Carolina. This tells me that other districts in the state are making our state ranking improve even while Jefferson County is pulling them down. I don't want you to think I am completely comparing apples to apples with these numbers. But there is some correlation. Considering the latest news on the high schools- when will the excuses end? I want to see Jefferson County do well. I worked with a lot of teachers/administrators who are trying to make this happen and I feel for all of them.
Because of these scores, Jefferson County is now eligible to receive $100 million in federal school improvement funds over the next two years to help improve all of its lowest performing schools. Depending on how the money is spent, this could be a real help but it is no guarantee. Hopefully, the money will be used to bring in more reading and math specialist which, in turn, could lower the student/teacher ratio. If you have regularly kept up with this blog, you know how I feel about significantly lowering the student-teacher ratio. Though you may not sense it in this blog, I actually have a lot of confidence in Dr. Berman. He seems to be a very bright man who's very invested into the success of Jefferson County. Regardless, standards have to be met and at present; they are not.
There was a principal in Jefferson County years ago I talked to years ago about public versus private education. I remember she said, "send him (Cameron) to a public school and save your money." The more I dig into the numbers, the more I realize what a crippling move that would have been to my child's education. I have worked so hard for too long. It's to the point I would rather deliver pizzas than pull him out of his private school.
Private school tuition can be steep. I bet there are a number of parents who would send their kids to public schools if they had any faith in the overall quality of education. If you live in an area where the public educational system is strong, be thankful.
Though my tantrum has now ended (for now), the troubles have not for so many. Thousands of kids have been "left behind" and thousands more will follow. I hope Monday's blog will shed some light on how this happens and what can be done to turn things around.
The news is 6 of the bottom 10 high schools in Kentucky are located in Jefferson County (where I reside). To make this a bit more personable, we are talking about approximately 6,500 students that go to these schools. Last year was the exact same story. This is a 2 year total of approximately 13,000 students. On average, only about 1/3 of the students scored proficient in reading and math. This is nothing short of an embarrassment. Because the bottom 6 of the 10 performing schools were scored as such last year, they were ineligible to make this year's list. Money is rolling in but I haven't found the data to see how it's being spent or if improvements have been made.
The test was based on reading and math which are the centerpieces of education. According to Superintendent Sheldon Berman, "Each of these schools is making significant gains in other important areas, but the state is only looking at one measurement when determining this particular list." My question is what the heck is more important than reading and math? Cultural diversity? Culinary Arts? Music? There was even a protest/pity part at Fern Creek high school Wednesday night which was attended by teachers, Dr. Berman, and the Jefferson County Public Schools teacher's union. High Schools and the district are having their feet held to the fire and of course- it burns! They complained at Fern Creek about the test and how they want more local control. Berman also complained how the test is overly simplistic. (Give me a minute while I shake my head)
In my opinion, there is a hierarchy of skills that need to be taught. Reading and math are at the top of the list. If a child can not read and perform math problems on a proficient level- little else matters. Am I too simplistic? Put another way, if a child could only read and work math problems on grade level, that would still be much better than what we are seeing.
Berman was on Mandy Connell's radio program this morning and said, "proficiency is well above grade level." He could be right though I never had that impression while I was teaching. In my classrooms though, I didn't think the goal of proficiency was out of reach because of its high standard. With every class, I tried to assess the ability level of the students; then bust my behind to have them achieve as much as they could during the 9 months they were in my classroom. There were times when students hit proficiency and others who fell woefully short. No matter where they landed on the spectrum, they were automatically moved up a grade. This was a district policy.
In the real world when companies/employees under perform, there are severe prices to pay. Companies can go under and employees can lose their jobs. In the educational world, things are different. We are not used to being directly accountable. For example, if one of my students didn't achieve a certain standard, I was never called out on it to explain why. This is why we are seeing a backlash from some educators and why we may be seeing more over time.
In education, it's very easy to "pass the buck" somewhere else. It happened during my teaching days and it is no different now. I could blame lots of people if my class under performed. For example, I could blame the administration for giving me the lowest kids- I could blame the parents- or I could blame the kids for being lazy. Having to take direct responsibility for failure is not something teachers/schools are used to. I want to make clear that when a kid is failing to live up to standards in high school, the blame has to be passed all the way down the line. One of my arguments on Monday's blog will be how you can't totally blame the high schools for under performing kids; but you have to start somewhere.
In my opinion, there are only two acceptable public high schools in Louisville- Male and Manuel. About 82% of Manuel graduates are ready for college. About 64% at Male High School are prepared. Evey other school in the area is under 50%. The lowest schools hovered around 4%. I am measuring this by ACT's and how prepared these kids are when going to college. I found some interesting numbers comparing districts in Kentucky.
According to schooldigger.com, the Jefferson County school district is ranked 132nd out of 149 counties. Here's the interesting twist. According to the Pritchard Committee, KY ranks 32nd on it's education index out of 50 states. This is a marked improvement from 1992 where Kentucky ranked 43rd. Only one other state rose out of the bottom 10 during the same time period which was North Carolina. This tells me that other districts in the state are making our state ranking improve even while Jefferson County is pulling them down. I don't want you to think I am completely comparing apples to apples with these numbers. But there is some correlation. Considering the latest news on the high schools- when will the excuses end? I want to see Jefferson County do well. I worked with a lot of teachers/administrators who are trying to make this happen and I feel for all of them.
Because of these scores, Jefferson County is now eligible to receive $100 million in federal school improvement funds over the next two years to help improve all of its lowest performing schools. Depending on how the money is spent, this could be a real help but it is no guarantee. Hopefully, the money will be used to bring in more reading and math specialist which, in turn, could lower the student/teacher ratio. If you have regularly kept up with this blog, you know how I feel about significantly lowering the student-teacher ratio. Though you may not sense it in this blog, I actually have a lot of confidence in Dr. Berman. He seems to be a very bright man who's very invested into the success of Jefferson County. Regardless, standards have to be met and at present; they are not.
There was a principal in Jefferson County years ago I talked to years ago about public versus private education. I remember she said, "send him (Cameron) to a public school and save your money." The more I dig into the numbers, the more I realize what a crippling move that would have been to my child's education. I have worked so hard for too long. It's to the point I would rather deliver pizzas than pull him out of his private school.
Private school tuition can be steep. I bet there are a number of parents who would send their kids to public schools if they had any faith in the overall quality of education. If you live in an area where the public educational system is strong, be thankful.
Though my tantrum has now ended (for now), the troubles have not for so many. Thousands of kids have been "left behind" and thousands more will follow. I hope Monday's blog will shed some light on how this happens and what can be done to turn things around.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tantrums, Troubles, and Treasures (The Happy Meal Ban)
The city of San Francisco has announced a ban on toys in Happy Meals starting in December 2010. According to Supervisor Eric Mar they are, "Part of the movement that is moving forward the agenda of food justice." Though the measure will be vetoed by the mayor, there are enough votes to override the veto.
Although I've known the general story for a while, I was interested last week when my wife placed a comment on her Facebook page saying that she didn't think the ban would work in terms of sales. What really drew my interest were the replies. There were a lot of people who were passionate about this issue.
The goal of this blog is to have parents think; not push an ideological agenda. Therefore, many angles of the debate won't be covered here. What will be covered though is the one word that really sticks out to me when thinking about this issue. That word is control.
The truth is we all have kids who ask/push for things. Some kids want that shiny toy in the store. Some want the latest X-Box game. Others want the Happy Meal. The fact that kids want things should not be surprising. Kids should have the freedom to ask for anything they want. But it's our job as parents to exert control and enact that dirty little word we all understand: NO. Those of us who can use that word when needed should not worry about our kids getting obese from Happy Meals.
I swear my children can read my mind at times because my 3 year old provided a perfect example yesterday for this blog. We were in Kroger and when we passed aisle 3, he started asking for chocolate. I told him no and he did what a lot of 3 year olds do: kept asking. If you remember nothing else from this blog, please store this next point into your memory: Children know it doesn't matter how many times a parent says the answer "no." It only takes one "yes" to get what they want.
I was hoping as we kept walking around the store, he would forget. That wasn't the case. When we got close to the checkout line, his requests became more animated. I stopped the cart, looked into his eyes, and said, "I know you want chocolate and I - said- no." The issue was over at that point. Even my three year old knew it because he stopped asking.
I have a different mentality than some parents. After all, I've been through battles in public settings with children at St. Joseph Children's Home and on field trips as a teacher. Public confrontations with children do not bother me. I had a cart full of groceries, a bum ankle from an injury two weeks ago, and my son who wouldn't let the chocolate idea go. Regardless, I didn't flinch.
What happens sometimes in these situations is parents do flinch. It would have been easier to give in based on the circumstances. I've seen firsthand what happens over time when parents give in to the whims of children after making their initial decision. Certain house parents at St. Joseph's could be worn down over time. These same house parents were the ones who consistently struggled managing the kids.
To summarize, I understand eating Happy Meals can add pounds and jeopardize health. I also know McDonald's along with a host of other companies market products to my child. But, I also know that I am a parent with the power of control. That single power trumps all.
On Friday, there will be a special edition of the education blog. I will focus on a recent story about high schools in Louisville, KY. Even if you are one of my out of state readers, check back in. The issue being faced is similar to ones you'll find in your district as well.
All the best to you and your families!
The beginning paragraph was paraphrased from the following source.
www.nydailynews.com/.../2010-11-03_san_francisco_enacts_happy_meal_
Although I've known the general story for a while, I was interested last week when my wife placed a comment on her Facebook page saying that she didn't think the ban would work in terms of sales. What really drew my interest were the replies. There were a lot of people who were passionate about this issue.
The goal of this blog is to have parents think; not push an ideological agenda. Therefore, many angles of the debate won't be covered here. What will be covered though is the one word that really sticks out to me when thinking about this issue. That word is control.
The truth is we all have kids who ask/push for things. Some kids want that shiny toy in the store. Some want the latest X-Box game. Others want the Happy Meal. The fact that kids want things should not be surprising. Kids should have the freedom to ask for anything they want. But it's our job as parents to exert control and enact that dirty little word we all understand: NO. Those of us who can use that word when needed should not worry about our kids getting obese from Happy Meals.
I swear my children can read my mind at times because my 3 year old provided a perfect example yesterday for this blog. We were in Kroger and when we passed aisle 3, he started asking for chocolate. I told him no and he did what a lot of 3 year olds do: kept asking. If you remember nothing else from this blog, please store this next point into your memory: Children know it doesn't matter how many times a parent says the answer "no." It only takes one "yes" to get what they want.
I was hoping as we kept walking around the store, he would forget. That wasn't the case. When we got close to the checkout line, his requests became more animated. I stopped the cart, looked into his eyes, and said, "I know you want chocolate and I - said- no." The issue was over at that point. Even my three year old knew it because he stopped asking.
I have a different mentality than some parents. After all, I've been through battles in public settings with children at St. Joseph Children's Home and on field trips as a teacher. Public confrontations with children do not bother me. I had a cart full of groceries, a bum ankle from an injury two weeks ago, and my son who wouldn't let the chocolate idea go. Regardless, I didn't flinch.
What happens sometimes in these situations is parents do flinch. It would have been easier to give in based on the circumstances. I've seen firsthand what happens over time when parents give in to the whims of children after making their initial decision. Certain house parents at St. Joseph's could be worn down over time. These same house parents were the ones who consistently struggled managing the kids.
To summarize, I understand eating Happy Meals can add pounds and jeopardize health. I also know McDonald's along with a host of other companies market products to my child. But, I also know that I am a parent with the power of control. That single power trumps all.
On Friday, there will be a special edition of the education blog. I will focus on a recent story about high schools in Louisville, KY. Even if you are one of my out of state readers, check back in. The issue being faced is similar to ones you'll find in your district as well.
All the best to you and your families!
The beginning paragraph was paraphrased from the following source.
www.nydailynews.com/.../2010-11-03_san_francisco_enacts_happy_meal_
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