Illusions

Welcome back my friends!  Today's post is going to have two parts to it.  The first is comparing public school teachers to illusionists while the second is going to say goodbye (for now).  Off we go!!!

I've always been amazed with illusion.  First, you see it; then you don't.  They can do card tricks, slight of hand, and even levitate.  How they do it, I don't know. But these acts entertain millions and I am one of them. 

One of the tricks that baffle me are the escapes.  I know there are secrets as to how they do it but I typically don't know how it's done.    When people have their hands tied, handcuffed, and shackled by their feet, escapes shouldn't be possible.  Yet, they are time and time again.

Thinking about these incredible acts, it strikes me as amazing that teachers are supposed to make the magic happen much like an illusionist no matter how unrealistic the trick really is.  Here are some examples.

1.  Teachers aren't handcuffed but they are significantly restrained by what they can and can't do.  For example, when  discipline problems exist in the classroom, there is not much a teacher can do besides deal with it to the best of their ability.  Remember, every minute spent dealing with a behavior issue is a minute taken from your child's education. The time lost is not accounted for when future tests are taken.

Unfortunately, there's not a lot an administration can do as well.  I remember as a teacher some colleagues would get mad at the principal and the counselor because of their lack of help.  The problem is there are hundreds of kids in a school and they have a laundry list of things that have to be accomplished.  In all my years, I never caught a principal or counselor playing card games on the computer or sitting around doing nothing.

2.  Teachers are expected to solve what appears to be an unsolvable mystery. What is a teachers job?  Simplistically, most of us would say to teach.  But, since teachers are evaluated on test scores, what happens when they are low?  Does it mean a teacher spent almost 10 months with a kid and didn't teach?  That seems a bit unlikely.

Test scores are obviously a quantifiable measure of progress.  But, this isn't like working the line at Ford Motor Company.  The parts aren't all the same.  Yet, teachers are supposed to produce a highly qualified and highly efficient test taking machine. Does this mean I disapprove of testing?  No.  Does it mean I approve of standardized testing?  Not really.  Again, it's an unsolvable mystery to me.

One of the main differences between an illusionist and teacher is this.  An illusionist only appears to have an unsolvable mystery.  With teachers, it's real.

3.   Teachers are expected to "perform" like illusionists with kids even if they aren't ready for the course work.  When a third grade teacher has to work with a 1st grade brain (happens a lot more than you may think) then either you give the kid extra instructional time (which means the other kids get less) or partially neglect the kid (in the air of fairness to the others) or totally neglect the kid (in order to work with the other kids who are on or closer to grade level).  There are not too many more options for teachers. Whatever direction the teacher goes will directly influence your child.

The grandest illusion of all is when parents believe schools will solve the problems.  The public has been fed the same line way before I started teaching and year after year, there are many parents who believe them.  That's why they get so mad at the system when problems occur.  They actually were fooled in believing it was going to work to begin with.  While it's frustrating even to me at times, I don't get surprised or upset.  I have responded by educating my kids to the best of my ability and wrote a blog almost 6,000 people have hit telling you all about it and what to do.   

Teachers work very hard but many are in a "box" they can't escape.  I was in that box as well and didn't realize it until years AFTER I left the profession.  When I taught, I can guarantee you I worked a lot of hours, ran a disciplined classroom, and taught the lessons I was expected to teach to the best of my ability.  There were kids who exploded with knowledge as the school year progressed.  There were others though who I couldn't help enough and continue to be "shackled" to this day.

Please keep a finger on the pulse of your children's education and help whenever you can.  Don't get caught up in the illusions.  I promise you'll never regret a minute of life working with a child you love.  

   ************************************************************************************
As I said before, this will be my last post for a while.  I try not to say never because I know better.  For those who have been following, you know I wrote a parenting book and am looking for the right publisher.  It takes an extraordinary amount of time to do this.  I am to the point where this needs to be my focus.  The purpose of the blog was to help great parents become even better and to get my name in the cyber world.  I truly feel I have accomplished both in a big way and had a lot of fun in the process.

I have had many people ask me about the book and when it will be available.  I am not sure but if anyone who has followed my work would like to purchase a copy down the line, shoot me an email.  If and when the book is published, I am sure I will be deep in the blogosphere again.

As far as people who have submitted parenting questions, I plan on responding to you privately.  If you are going to take the time to ask a question, I should take the time to answer it to the best of my ability.  This blog will also stay up indefinently.  If you have a question in the future, feel free to shoot me an email.  My door will stay open for you.

I wasn't sure how to end this blog until I checked my Twitter messages (@claylauren2001) about 10 minutes ago.  A girl I've never met wrote to me "we are beginning an adoption process from an orphanage and wanted some tips."  I fully admit I teared up a bit.  Anyone who knows my past would understand why.  If I help this stranger out in the smallest bit, all the hours spent in the creation, promotion, and writing of this blog will have been worth it.

Thanks again to everyone who has made this blog the success it's been.  Thanks for telling your friends.  Thanks for your comments.  Thanks for your words of encouragement.  If all goes well, maybe I'll be in a town near you someday signing my book.

Goodbye (for now) from the world of Tantrums, Troubles, and Treasures.
        

Education Children Deserve

Good Monday morning to all of you.  Before I get started on today's topic, I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for coming.  Over the weekend, my blog surpassed 5,000 hits.  Considering this blog is about 3 months old and there were two major holidays, I'm very humbled- thank you.

I would also appreciate a bit of understanding for today's blog.  Last Friday, I teased a post that was going to compare illusionists to teachers.  That post is laid out on paper and ready to be written.  Over the weekend though, a story in my local newspaper really struck a nerve. After conferring with my editor (me) I am going to address it instead.

My question today is what type of education do children deserve?  This question has tugged at me for a while. This leads me to the article in the newspaper that had to do with the Wade County school district in Raleigh, North Carolina and its plan to move toward neighborhood schools.  Of course, there is a public outcry like in a lot of cases where a major change is being made.  Both sides of the aisle have their strong supporters and neither side wants to give an inch.

I can certainly see why neighborhood schools makes sense. Obviously, parents could be more involved in the school and there would be a huge savings in the cost of busing.  There is also a dirty little point to be made as well.  In many schools, if you were to eliminate the lower economic families by sending them back to their neighborhoods- test scores would most likely shoot up immediately at those schools.  That would make certain principals, teachers, and remaining kids look very good.

The argument against neighborhood schools is equally as compelling.  Some people would claim that diversity of race and cultures is a good thing.  Neighborhood schools would eliminate that in many areas.  Another point is we had neighborhood schools as late as the 1960's.  How did that work out for us?  Finally, if we went to neighborhood schools, some schools in hard hit economic areas would most likely fail miserably.  What would we do then?

If you are someone who has read my blog for a while, you know that I really advocate working with your children and relying as little as possible on the school system.  The argument over neighborhood schools is the latest reason.  We had these same debates and many others 11 years ago when I started teaching.  Despite any changes that were made, not much has helped when you compare the data.

For what it is worth, the first school I taught in (Portland Elementary in Louisville, Kentucky) was a neighborhood school and it was a nice place to work.  We had our share of problems (academically) but we made strides and improved test scores every year I was there.  After I left, the principal I worked for retired. A new principal was brought in and (from what I can see) has done some great work including improving the test scores.  The improvements may not be enough in the eyes of some people though.  Being that I worked there and know the neighborhood, I would say the school should be proud its accomplishments.   

As far as whether I think there should be neighborhood schools; here's the truth.  Neighborhood schools are a great idea but there is a huge drawback.  The drawback is I doubt if they will work in many areas.  Let me explain.

In order for neighborhood schools to work in my opinion, there has to be an understanding that there will be areas where poverty, discipline, and overall culture will be at an all time low.  These area would have to be inundated with the brightest educational minds the district could muster.  The student- teacher ratio would have to be extremely low (6:1 would be ideal).  There would have to be at least 2 full time assistants for every class.  Teachers would have to have a 25% pay increase over their peers at higher performing schools (based on educational rank and seniority) directly hired by the principal.  Because of the lack of overall space and to keep the ratios low, two full time teachers would most likely have to team teach in every room.  It is very possible two full time security guards would be needed in each school as well.  Even if all these ideas were to happen, it would take years to see tangible results because the kids are that far behind.  In short, this is simply not going to happen. 

Before any of these ideas could be implemented, one more thing would be needed as well- cooperation.  I am talking about the teachers, principals, unions, school boards, local and state government, and, of course, parents. If it is one thing I have seen over the years, these groups have their own agendas and getting along with each other is not one of them.  It is sad but true. 

So what kind of education do children deserve?  That's not a question any school can answer (unless you want to hear the standby answer- students deserve the best education possible).  Rather this is a question only you, the parent, can answer.  Here's my advice for what it's worth.  Your job should be to let the talking heads fight, beat each other up, and get little accomplished.  These people are good at it and have been mastering the art for many years. The names may change but the results generally stay the same.

I understand you can debate me on this by citing your tax dollars for instance.  I understand your concerns should be heard as well.  I also understand your voice is important.  But, what I understand the most is that time is ticking when it comes to your kids.  I've made my decisions concerning my children and have been very pleased with the results.  My hope is for you to be equally happy with the educational progress of your kids.        

In the meantime,  I want you to continue working diligently with your kids on their reading and math especially.  Take an active interest in your child's report cards and focus on your kids areas of weakness.  It is also a good idea to form support groups with other parents and have study nights. (Ever heard the saying it takes a village to raise a child)  The point is the more you take control of your kids future, the less you have to worry about what a school is going to do.

Usually, my blog posts are more light-hearted or have a humorous twist.  The truth is that debates such as neighborhood schools angers me because I think of the kids I used to teach.  Most are not receiving a good education today (though I bet their teachers are working hard) and I wish there was more I could do.

This Wednesday will be the long awaited behavior blog called Competing for Mama.  I will lay out some insights and the opinions may surprise you.
 

Why Reading Stinks!

Have you ever wondered why some kids love to read while others seem allergic to books?  Today's post will not make every kid a reader overnight but it may give a few insights as to why kids feel as they do about reading.

When I was an elementary teacher, I had to assess kids immediately so I could know where their reading skills were compared to where they should be.  What I also informally assessed were their attitudes on reading and I came up with some common themes.

First though, let me clear some misconceptions to make sure we are on the same page.  There is a line I draw between reading and decoding and this difference is important.

Decoding is when a child pronounces words properly from whatever they are reading.  When I worked with kids though, I defined reading as decoding plus "knowing what the heck you are talking about."  A simple example would be when a child reads a stop sign.  A child who decodes that word (like my youngest son) has no idea why the sign is there or what to do.  An older child though could decode the stop sign, know why it is there, and have a clear picture in his/her mind as to what is going on.

Now, let's get to why reading stinks.

Picture was found after writing my Space Shuttle point.  I couldn't resist.

1.  Reading stinks because sometimes the material is either too hard to decode or comprehend.  It would be like giving many people a book called "How to Fly the Space Shuttle."  I'm sure there are some adults who couldn't decode all of the terminology (including myself).  Others may decode it but really wouldn't have a firm grasp on how to do it.  Just like children, if your space shuttle manual was too long, complicated, or confusing, you would probably get tired of it as well.


2.  Reading stinks because there's no one to share it with.  In a classroom, I didn't have this issue but at home, any parent could.  If a child is forced to read at home while the adult watches TV, talks on the phone, or plays on the internet, it appears to the child that reading has taken a backseat in their life.  To make matters worse, if a child doesn't have a nice quiet area to read and has to watch their siblings playing while they are working; their concentration would be so far gone, it would make reading nearly pointless.

3.  Finally, reading stinks because the material is boring.  When a child is forced to read material they don't like, it can turn them off from the process all together.  While I will grant you sometimes kids have to read things in school they don't want to, I would hate to think we make children read so many boring things that they despise reading all together.  That would be a shame.

Remember in the beginning of the post when saying that I informally assessed attitudes about reading?  Here's why.  In the beginning of every school year, my job (as I perceived it) was to get a child's attitude in the right direction concerning reading.  It was more important than even the subject itself.  Some kids had a negative attitude about reading or a complete lack of confidence.  I had to get these things turned around as quickly as possible because if I didn't, teaching the subject would have been useless.   

As adults, we choose what we want to read but when working with kids, we should be mindful of our choices.  If, as adults, we pass on to our children "reading stinks" by our actions, our kids are much less likely to be good readers. It's really important to take an active role in reading because our children are always watching us.  A parent can take an active role by reading themselves but they can also help by taking an interest in what their kids are reading.  

I found this out recently when I was sitting on a couch reading a book.  My oldest son walks up to me and says "I thought only mom read books."  The reason my child said this is because I don't read a lot of books.  I wasn't aware though he was observant of this.  I explained to him I read books occasionally but I like newspapers and magazines more.  Kids are much more observant than we think so it's important to give the best impressions possible.   

The truth is reading really stinks for some kids but it doesn't have to.  There are things we, as parents and educators, can do to help kids if we choose.  Though reading is not a skill learned overnight, it is one that will last a lifetime.

This Wednesday, I will be back with my behavior blog.  The title will be "Competing for Mama" and I think you'll find it pretty interesting.  All my best to you and the ones you love.  

Inventive Spelling

Happy Monday to all of you.  Today's education blog is going to give you another inside look to what is going on in some schools around the country.  I believe when parents are informed- children will benefit so let's dive in.

D U C Dat? (Did you see that)  In a nutshell that is your first lesson in a practice known as inventive spelling.  A trend that seems to be growing every year are the growing number of high school students who can't read or write on grade level.  There are several reasons leading to this problem but I believe you can look at inventive spelling as one of the factors.

I still haven't figured this out.

 Wut r u talkin abowt?  (What are you talking about)  I'm talking about kids in school who write assignments for their teachers based on how the words sound to them as opposed to the proper spelling. Instead of being corrected by these educators, they are praised for their effort and creativity. 

The reason this concept is so important for parents to know is so you can have an awareness to what goes on in some schools.  When I was a teacher, spelling wasn't emphasized as being important.  As a parent, that statement should concern you.  I did my best to teach students how to spell properly because I felt strongly about it; but not because spelling was a requirement defined in the core content.  

The alternative means of teaching spelling is called foniks (phonics).  Some may shudder as you read the "p" word (f word if you are an inventive speller).  At the heart of it, phonics has been the best method I have seen for children to learn how to write.  Let me put it another way. Although children have shown me different styles of learning over the years, I have never seen a child who was able to write on grade level who had not learned basic phonetic principles.

There's a reason cat is spelled c-a-t.  While I admit there are lots of words that aren't spelled the way they sound, it's important to know the rulz (rules) and learn over time when the rules do not apply.  Though it's a lengthy process, 13 years of education (more if you count pre-school) is easily enough time to work out the kinks.

Inventive spelling , to me, is cute to read from a kindergarten or even a 1st grade student.  Though I didn't let the errors go unchecked, I did appreciate the students' effort during my time in the classroom.  Writing can be a difficult subject to teach.  It takes a lot of time and patience  It baffles me though how any grade (above K or 1st) would buy into inventive spelling.

Please remember the primary point of writing for anyone is to communicate on paper.  If the reader can't understand what the writer is trying to communicate, then the writing is, in effect, worthless. Let us fast forward a few years ahead.  If a child can't spell correctly, what type of college would you expect that person to attend or which job could you expect them to land?

Here's another way of looking at it.  When was the last time you did something incorrectly, stuck with the same plan, and got it right without changing anything? Inventive spelling counts on the fact that although the word is spelled incorrectly now, it will work itself out over time.  It is a theory I have never understood. 
 

There are plenty of schools who will pass students on from year to year even if the children can't spell.  Therefore, you have two choices as a parent.  Either trust that the school is right (making me wrong) or take what I am saying seriously and work with your kids on how to spell. You can easily do this by looking at classwork and reading carefully what your children are writing.  This can also be accomplished by making sure all homework assignments are written properly.  Rest assured, I have made more than one kid erase a word and spell it correctly.  None of them were scarred for life.

For those who would like a little more information, here is a link from the National Right to Read Foundation that I hope will help.  http://www.nrrf.org/42_invented_spelling.html 

This Wednesday, I will be back with my behavior blog but until then ... Hve a grate da! (Have a great day)     

Sowing Seeds

Buckle up early for this blog because I'm jumping in head first!

The kids I've worked with in my life have looked up to me the same way your kids look up to you.  It didn't matter if it was St. Josephs Children's Home, as a public school teacher, or my own kids.  Being the authority figure and acting like the authority figure are two different things though.  For example, a teacher may BE the authority figure the kids are supposed to look up to; but if they don't ACT like the authority figure, respect over time is lost.

The reason I made this distinctions is because we, as authority figures, have a golden opportunity with our kids.  As long as they respect us, they will take our words and actions to be meaningful and trusted.  Because of this simple fact, here's the plan.  Let's encourage kids to achieve heights they never thought they could. 

Kids are looking to us right now for help!

At  St. Joseph's Children's Home, we worked a lot on behavior because that was a major factor in getting a child ready to be in a  foster home or better yet- adopted.   Because kids there looked up to me (along with many other super house parents) I used to praise them to no end for good behavior.  The various forms of praise from me were the seeds sown.  On the flip side, I didn't baby them when they behaved poorly.  I had a clear goal of where I wanted them behaviorally even if they had lost some hope for ever being adopted. For some children, the goal was achieved but I worked tirelessly for years in order for that dream to be realized by all.

Another example could be found when I was teaching.  In the classroom, kids would sometimes tell me they couldn't read.  Those were fighting words in my classroom.  I would go out of my way over time to prove to them they COULD read but they needed to practice to get better.  Since I was the authority figure, I could sow those seeds within a child and eventually have them reading at a higher level over time.

Don't get me wrong.  Sowing seeds doesn't always work.  But, it's not my job to know when this tactic will work and when it won't.  It's my job to command the respect of children so when I sow the seeds, they have a chance of "sprouting."

Here's an example of a time your humble blogger apparently failed.  This story occurred on a picturesque fall day.  My son, Cameron, and I were driving to one of his tennis lessons. I remember pumping him up saying things like "let's really concentrate today" and "hit the ball like your coach taught you."  I also threw in "you can beat those kids even if they are a little older."  In my own mind, I sounded like General Patton pumping up the troops.  In other words, the seeds were clearly sown and greatness was sure to follow.  It was at this point that Cameron exclaimed out of the blue, "Look daddy, there's a bird in that nest!"

For the record, Cameron played fine that day.  Regardless, I'm not sure anything I said registered at the time;  but that's not the point.  I tried to do what I could to encourage Cameron to play his best tennis. 

It's not only your choice when to sow the seeds; but what seeds are to be sown and how often.  Though my tennis example with Cameron may prove it doesn't always work, I will guarantee there are many times it does. In order to get the best out of kids, they have to have confidence.  Though parents sowing seeds is not the entire equation for a child to excel, it's certainly an important step.

On a final note, any parent who has a child's respect can also fall victim to sowing negative seeds.  If, for example, I told my children they were ugly, dumb, inferior to others, or not very good at something, they would completely believe me.  All parents should watch their words very carefully because the consequences are potentially devastating.  I once heard long ago, "don't be the parent who thinks they know how the book ends before the final chapter is even written." Even if your child isn't the best at something (and whose child is) it's still important to make them feel good about themselves and what they are doing. 

We want our children to be happy.  We want the best for them. Together, let's sow seeds to give our kids every chance to achieve these things.

My next blog will be this Friday, I have several interesting parenting questions to choose from. If you have a parenting question, it can be sent to tantrumstroublesandtreasures@yahoo.com.

Take care of yourselves and your families and please don't forget to pass this along to other parents!!!     

The Bottom Side of Normal

Hope everyone has recovered from their Christmas weekend.  I am excited to be back with you!  Over the holidays, I acquired some new followers from near and abroad and want to welcome all of you.  The lessons I hope you take today can be implemented where ever you live no matter where your child goes to school. 

Today's blog is part two of what I started last Monday called An Educational Opportunity.  Basically, I said to use some of the time off with your kids to gain an educational edge.  I also talked about interpreting grades beyond the letter (A-B-C-D-F)  If you haven't seen it already, I'd encourage you to look at it.  The goal is for you, the parent, to look beyond your child's grade and concentrate on the intricacies.  What makes his/her grades so high or low?  What could have been done better?  A specific way for me to explain this is to focus on my three year old, Luke.    

Luke is one happy and fun loving kid.  He's the child you may find in the grocery store hollering, "Merry Christmas" to everyone he passes.  Another example of his spirit could be found at Christmas Mass.  He was a bit slow in his responses (understandably) and when the congregation said, "Amen," he would holler it a second too late.  People would turn and laugh which was a bit embarrassing; but funny as well.

The main problem with Luke is he has a speech delay and was recently tested for a second time.  My wife and I found out he scored on the bottom side of the normal spectrum.   At first glance, that may seem pretty disappointing, right?

For those of you who have regularly seen this blog, you know about my oldest child's educational achievements.  Details can be found on earlier blogs (October15th and October-18th editions) but he has tested in the top 1% nationally in reading and math.  One may think I may be disappointed Luke is not following in the footsteps of his brother.  One may also think my prior education blogs may not be as valid because I can't produce the same result with a different kid thus far.   But wait. Before making any assumptions, did you remember my advice of looking beyond the initial grade?  Of course you did and that's why you'll keep reading!

Here's more of the story.  Luke had fluid in his ears for what could have been months.  Lauren and I didn't take him to the doctor because we didn't know it existed.  He didn't get ear aches like his brother so there was not  a reason to be alarmed. If it would have been treated, the speech problems would have been much less severe.

The first time Luke took the speech test, he was so low, he couldn't even complete it.  To go from that to the bottom side of normal was a huge leap.  Obviously, I'm very excited about the results.  I'm also extremely confident in my abilities to teach and I feel Luke and I are off to the races (educationally speaking).

Because this blog is partially meant to teach, let's attempt to apply Luke's circumstances to your kids.  When your child receives a grade in any subject, knowing the back story is as important as the grade.  Let's say, for example, your child went from a "B" last year in math to a "C" on their last report card.  The key to helping as a parent is to pinpoint the subtle changes.  Were his/her study habits different?  Was there something taught last year that wasn't retained in your child's mind this year?  If I asked, could you adequately explain the problems to a simple guy like me?

Now, let's flip the scenario.  Let's say your kid went from a (C+) to an (A-).  The same basic rules apply.  Pinpoint the positive changes and capitalize on the success.  Did your child study harder?  Did you give them more of your time/encouragement? Did the teacher have a positive impact?  What were the factors of change? Image via Wikipedia

I certainly can't go over all the grading scenarios in education.  But, as a former teacher, I know this.  The grade in any class should stem from an overall body of work.  There are reasons some children succeed and others don't do as well. When you find and attack those reasons, you should expect better report cards.

On a side note, if your kid is already doing exceedingly well, why not challenge the teacher to provide more difficult material? True learning only occurs when additional knowledge is gathered and retained by the student.  In other words, it's possible for a kid to get an "A" in a class and not learn much.

If you enjoyed The Bottom Side of Normal, please consider sending it to a parent who would enjoy it.  That gesture would mean so much to me.  To those of you who have ever passed along my material, thank you!

This Wednesday, I am back with a behavior blog.  The title will be Sowing Seeds.  It's a tactic I've used for years with good results.  Can't wait to tell you all about it.